By Genelle Pugmire
December 15, 2012
Provo Daily Herald

PROVO -- Monroe Paxman wanted a date with Helen Brockbank to the Senior Hop. When he called she told him she already had a date, but told him to wait and passed the phone to her younger sister Shirley. That was 77 years ago. Today Monroe and Shirley Paxman will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary.

Monroe said their first real date was going to Christmas midnight mass at St. Francis Catholic Church. "It was the only date these two Mormon kids could afford," he said.

Their children call their legacy magical and remarkable.

It was seven years from that first dance date until their wedding -- Monroe went on an LDS mission to England that abruptly changed to the Northern States Mission when World War II started. From there he went to Wichita, Kan., and worked for Culver Aircraft Corporation. Shirley went to nursing school at Holy Cross Hospital in Salt Lake City and lived with the nuns for three years. They married on Dec. 18, 1942, in the Salt Lake Temple.

Soon after their marriage Monroe entered law school, receiving his juris doctorate from the University of Utah in 1949. Shirley raised their children and eventually went on to get a master's degree from Brigham Young University in child development and family relations.

Every Monday morning the couple sit down, check their newspaper and begin filling their weekly schedule. Nearly every day they go to a lecture, performing arts program or a museum. It's not unusual to see these 93-year-olds walking arm in arm across Brigham Young University or Utah Valley University campuses as they have for more than seven decades.

Carolyn Paxman Bentley said her parents knew how to create enriching experiences, whether it was taking the family to Austria for a summer or holding backyard circuses each summer to benefit Primary Children's Medical Center.

"I guess the most amazing thing about our parents was they were an exceptional match whose gifts individually combined to make a powerful, creative, dynamic, energetic and committed pair who practiced mindful parenting as they looked for doors to open for us and for experiences to give us that would help us grow and try to live each day to the fullest," Bentley said.

Monroe was a judge and a founder of the Rocky Mountain Juvenile Court Institute. He took that training overseas and taught U.S. law classes for the military as far away as Turkey, Italy and Spain.

Shirley served on the board of directors for the Provo School District and as president for two years. She also served on the Utah Governor's School Study committee that evaluated Utah schools.

But their primary focus was their seven children. They even wrote books together about raising children and how to have fun family nights and activities.

"As a Cub Scout, I dropped the cake I was baking for a contest on the kitchen floor," son John Paxman recalled. "It broke into tens of pieces. My parents suggested that I pour chocolate frosting on it and name it Earthquake Cake. It won first prize."

Throughout their life together the Paxmans have served their community. For 25 years they helped with the upkeep of Provo's decaying Academy Square, now the city library. When others let it go to near ruin, they put a sprinkler system in to help save the lawn. Shirley, when she was in her 70s, stepped in front of a bulldozer to keep the building from being torn down.

For 27 years they celebrated the beginning of Advent with the popular Carols by Candlelight services. Some of Shirley's best moments were with her 3,000 dolls at the McCurdy Doll Museum, which she ran for more than 20 years.

And then there was their unknown service to their government.

Daughter Annette Paxman Bowen recalls the decades her parents served as official hosts of the U.S. State Department for foreign guests traveling through Utah.

"Mom and Dad were interested in broadening our horizons," Bowen said. "They wanted us to know about the world beyond Utah Valley." She said for years, people from all over the world came to their home. Some chose to stay in their home rather than in a hotel.

"I remember many of these visitors by the names Mom would use to prepare us for their visits, like seven Turkish gentlemen, or four imams and visitors from the Vatican," she said. They were actually cardinals who served Pope John Paul II.

"My most lasting memory was the time the prime minister of the Sudan came to stay. I was asked to give up my bedroom for him. My parents explained that he would bring his own prayer rug and would retreat to my room several times a day to pray," Bowen said. "I had forgotten the prayer times and needed something from my closet. As I approached my room, the door was slightly ajar and I saw the prime minister bowing his head to the ground and speaking his prayer in his foreign tongue. This made a lasting impression on a young Mormon girl."

Susie Paxman Hatch, the Paxmans' youngest child, admits she was naive growing up, thinking that everyone had parents like hers. As she grew older she realized this was not always the case.

"One of my favorite memories as a child is having my mother appear in my third-grade classroom as she came to pick me up for a few hours so that I could go with her and my siblings to a concert at BYU."

This was only one of many concerts and performances the Paxmans attended as family throughout the years. One of their most memorable dates was to hear famous composer/pianist Sergei Rachmaninoff perform in the Provo Tabernacle.

According to Nancy Paxman Thomas, her parents were thinkers and communicators; they taught the value of work and that knowledge is power. They also taught the magic of celebrating life and holidays.

"Dad and Mom worked as a team to create a family where work was valued, and fun and creating magical moments were a necessary part of life," Thomas said.

The Paxmans' lives have not always been a bed of roses and growing old gracefully is a daily task. The children have grown. Friends have died. A few years ago, their beloved daughter Mary died from cancer. But in all, their lives together have been filled with joy.

How do you live to be 93? "You turn off the TV and get out of the house," Shirley said.

"We've had a wonderful, wonderful time together and still are," Monroe said.

The Paxmans will celebrate with an open house today, December 15, 2012, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. at their home, 135 E. 200 North in Provo.

Special Thanks To: Provo Daily Herald

By Laura Bird
April 10, 2007
BYU News Net

Monroe and Shirley Paxman, both 88 in 2007, attend six to eight events on campus each week. They remain physically and mentally active both on and off BYU campus.

Monroe and Shirley Paxman walk to BYU's campus multiple times a week from downtown Provo to attend the activities at the Kennedy Center, the library and Harris Fine Arts Center, just to learn and be around the students.

As members of a long family line of BYU graduates themselves, the Paxman's have quite a heritage with the BYU community.

For many students, the Paxman's have become familiar faces as they attend six to eight events on campus each week. The walk from 200 North may not be a big deal to the average campus visitor, but the Paxman's are 88 years old.

"[Coming to campus] keeps us healthy - physically and mentally and spiritually," said Monroe Paxman, a Provo native and BYU graduate.

Spiritually, the Paxman's said it is the environment that lifts them. The walking is good for them physically, but they feel the students give them what they need mentally.

"You see all those young people and get inspired," said Shirley Paxman, who started school in first grade at Brigham Young Academy and continued through to her master's at BYU.

Physically, the Paxman's stay strong from their many trips to BYU events. Along with on-campus activities, this couple even hiked to Y Mountain one year ago.
"I asked Shirley what she wanted for Mother's Day and she said she wanted to hike the Y, so we did," Monroe Paxman said. "It's a great place to be."

On campus, the Paxman's continue to sharpen their minds as well. At the age of 85, Monroe Paxman began watercolor classes and has become quite the artist, Shirley Paxman said.

The Paxman's have been involved with much of the progress of Provo and the BYU community. Monroe Paxman was a member of the high council of the first BYU stake. As a retired judge, he also taught international law on campus.

Shirley Paxman has been influential in preserving Provo and the old Brigham Young Academy to what is now known as the Provo City Library. She spent 25 years saving the historic building by dedicating her time petitioning the city.

"Shirley was the little old lady that stood in front to keep the city from tearing the building down," Monroe Paxman said.

The Paxman's encourage all students to continue to learn and be actively involved. Many couples their age are no longer sharp because they watch too much TV, they said.

"I'd have to quote Theodore Roosevelt who said the happiest people are those who touch life in its greatest number of points." Shirley Paxman said. "We try to touch life in a lot of dimensions."

One of the dimensions that the Paxman's touch is a scholarship fund set up with Shirley's family to assist young South African LDS women attend college. This year they have 71 students attending school.

"We're educating a lot of wonderful women," Shirley Paxman said. "I have wonderful pictures and we keep in touch with them."

The Paxman's don't just affect students; professors also recognize their familiar presence. Dean Hughes, a creative writing professor in the English Department, said he first got to know the Paxman's because of a doll museum they had in their home with over 4,000 dolls. Even after they closed the museum, Hughes said he sees them everywhere.

"They know everybody and everybody knows them," Hughes said. "[They go to] anything they know they'll enjoy, and they enjoy everything."

Last year during the English Reading Series, Hughes said students and guests were invited to share their bad poetry and Monroe Paxman even got up and told his own.

"I've never heard them say they were sorry for coming [to an event]," Hughes said. "They are interested in everything."

The Paxman's said that they would go to anything on campus; they just enjoy learning and feel blessed to be able to do so.

"I go [to campus] because of the rewarding experience of learning things and hearing other peoples' ideas," Monroe Paxman said. "It's very much enjoyable. It's pure joy."

Special Thanks To: BYU NewsNet

We greatly enjoyed all of the student activities while our children were at BYH: assemblies, dances, school elections, students visiting our home, with their lively enthusiasm and good humor.

We admired and appreciated the faculty and their good influences on our children: Fae Buttle's challenging students to do their best; Anna Boss Hart's gentle acceptance; Fred Webb's wonderful choirs; Max Golightly's dynamic dramas; Frank Arnold's winning strut, and losing anger; Jed Gibson's encouragement and expertise; Alex Darais' quiet art creativity.

Since we lived nearby, many students dropped by for a cookie or sandwich -- Mary Ellen Hales, Kent Bunker, Ruth Halladay, Newt Andrus, Alec Andrus, and of course, Marion Bentley, who married our daughter Carolyn -- parents of four of our 32 grandchildren.

BYH was a major source of fun, entertainment, and yes, stress as our children faced frustrations, tests, rejections, elections, tryouts and grades. Often at public events BYH grads approach us and recall the good old days. We thank all BYH'ers for the good memories.

-- October 2007